That leaves a lot of alone time but I entertain myself by reading and taking online classes and that sort of thing. I WOUNDER IF THAT WRIGHT? You have to find out important news on Facebook, even though it seems like everyone else already knows what’s going on. Sonetimes I feel I’m getting on people’s nurves, if I’m very boring or annoying person. Annie, Not knowing you, I’m not being ugly it’s just how I’ve been treated & felt but as soon as I found out your job, I wouldn’t talk to you about anything personal because I’d be afraid to & even if I had already told you personal issues, I would be feeling like a maniac because I’ve been betrayed way too many times. I am 50 years old, a successful healthcare professional and still feel like that worthless little girl. I relate to this a lot. This sounds EXACTLY like narcissistic abuse. I’m a senior in high school and for some reason I really don’t fit in. I hate it here. I need to start being a jerk in order to dazzle people and leave some sort of lasting impression. People create their image of the “average lonely person” and stories like yours aren’t heard that often. I appreciate your help and I am willing to do anything that can help me. Don’t you see? I don’t get it. You must dedicate your life to change. Yet I wonder about the price to pay for my present when I feel I’m running out of time as I have had to lead a practical working life of survival that has being void of inclusion voice as it’s participation requires the expression & control stemming from others that I could have been a robot. You are NOT alone, even if it feels like you are. I’m 34 years old and I just think people don’t like me. I agree whole heartedly. Most of us have had enough of that– and these aspects are trying to help us, not hurt us. Sorry …, Lucie, thank you for saying all of that. I have more websites to share if you’d like. Even if it’s a complete stranger I just feel like they don’t like me and are judging me. If that is the case, you can learn. Write down a more compassionate and realistic response to your voice attack, once again, as an “I” statement. A throw-away age that also includes people. I do tend to get taken advantage of because I like helping people out. Thus, I feel like no one loves me when I have nobody to talk to about this deep ooshy gooshy stuff. Even all of my friends tells me I am a very nice person. I’m only now just starting to realize it after 15 years of failure. What the heck is wrong with me? Spread joy and kindness everywhere you go and nobody will be able to forget about you. You need support. I really am not sure what to do next. Hope you get to come and read this. Sometimes it’s just the truth of who we are – we simply are truly that ugly, that unattractive, that less-than-100% perfect, that means people, especially men, don’t like us, won’t even give us the time of day, won’t even deign to spit on our shoes, because we’re not even enough to get past that first social hurdle of looks. Maybe you’re grieving a breakup or loss, or you’re lonely or homesick for the past. I recently discovered a solution to my no-one-likes-me problem. Other then to feel sorry for me. I would suggest seeing a therapist if you can afford one. The unpopular person, made unpopular by the actions of other people (a twist on the self-fulfilling prophecy myth) is left holding the bag. I deeply appreciate your thoughts and it made a lots of sense to me. And what about many of us good men that are still single that really wanted a wife and family too? No one has ever loved me. I was thinking the same thing Lou! However, I notice you mentioned things like, “when your friend doesn’t text you back right away”. To me, this makes a lot more organic sense than doing battle with ourselves. Or how my second wife wants me to “be with” her, except that consists of me watching her play on her phone. But I also think it’s much more complex than this lays it out to be. Lewis at my school, or why does nobody likes to talk about Monet? My mom to has always hated me & treated me very poorly. My father his favorite name for me clumsy child. Sarah is right…this sounds like an abusive relationship. Realistically I no longer force myself on them as I can tell they do not like me. My mom and dad passed not long ago. My parents' never call..nobody came to my graduation, not even my parents, but the whole family was there for one of my other family members. It may bring us up too! I’m glad to see how supportive everyone is, but this won’t work for me. I am very tiered and lonely, don’t know how I need to change myself. I was struck by the eighteenth sentence you wrote above – if that is true, you might be interested in this article about the scientifically-supported study of positive emotions and thought, and your power over creating them. You’re better than the problems, but no one wants you to be better. I think she wishes that it would fail. Im 43 years old and the saga continues. This is me. This article does an admirably accurate job describing how awful this experience feels emotionally. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Spirituality. This voice will eventually fade into the background. I could care less if I see God rewarding me. So we’re constantly battling feelings of loneliness, unworthiness, and unlovability.” – from How to Stop Believing the “Nobody Loves Me” Lie. People who do not go deep may feel uncomfortable around deep people, perhaps they don’t want to be discovered and only want to be around the people who can be fun at non-deep levels. There are a lot of people around me and I can get them like me if I want to. What chance do I have to even get a guy to like me, if they judge me immediately based if I’m a “10/10” or not? I just don’t get it. It’s when I expect never to again that I start to blame myself for doing something wrong. When I simply raise my voice to be heard I feel that people are looking at me like I am some kind of freak. If you do turn to the mental health system for that help they will just further alienate you with mental health labels, medications that cause horrible side effects, and treating you at a distance with strict boundaries and callousness. Thank you psychalive… I had lost all hope recently but this article gave me new hope to live. I see people avoid me. It hurt…a lot. What are the rules? i know i see myself as fat ugly sad pathetic and alone, useless nothing and a absolute f#%$ up I can’t really convey how I feel with a message but if your reading this i’m sorry for making you feel bad. I am chucking that inner voice out the door….go away satan cause me i am awsome! It sounds like you’re writing about me! Is Your Boyfriend Scared to Let Himself Fall in Love With You? But there is another wrinkle in my life’s story that has the potential of putting the lie on the concept that we are not alone in the feeling that we are alone. Is it because I’ve been able to survive this rough awful life alone, do they think I never needed them?!? Could this be the case? I have a new friend now, thin as air, I named her Radzi, who sits across the table from me and listens to me. God blessed. I will invite someone to go to coffee and take their contact details and then am ghosted. Sometimes people can be unkind or jealous but it’s not my fault. she has it. People don’t include me either but it’s ok. Because I know someday that people will like me because I’m fun. Most people already have their friends, I was in the same boat and decided to try hobby clubs and local online forums as well as finding friends on dating sites (the ones that have a platonic friendship option). So do we need them ya nobody’s perfect but just a little trust would be nice or help here or there. First of all,the way you list of your shortcomings try and list out your qualities like you have a good sense of humor or whatever..Stop undervaluing yourself.. These tips will help you cope with feeling like no one loves you. When I was younger I was so confident and had nothing but friends but now in my 30’s a lot of that have changed. I feel so lonely it is painful. Move and won't ever have any thing to do with my awful family again. “You’re so boring. If only I were even slightly pretty, maybe then I could start to get close to someone to stand the chance of them seeing me for me. And not be rude but go get it. I've turned down a couple of them, including my former HS boyfriend who routinely posts embarrassingly flattering comments on my Facebook posts. Sir/madam I just hope it doesn’t stay like this my whole life.. its ruining my life right now ! Something or someone that causes harm chaos. I believe in you. And here’s the good news: it works in both negative AND positive ways. Even if you can’t remember any special moment… the fact that you opened up and shared your feelings here with others who are hurting, has been a help so we know we’re not alone. William you are amazing and I bet if you let yourself shine everyone will like you. Of males, a very large part of the nerdier/more quiet ones suffer from this at least part of their life! The TIA’s are causing some confusion.Thanks for letting me vent. It has been this way my whole life. I don’t feel like I’m ugly or undesireable, but I don’t understand what is wrong with me. At work people will talk about going to happy hour right in front of me and never invite me! My own father reported me out of anger & he’s done & said alot worse, but nobody has reported them. I’m no good at confrontation and so I walk away!! I do have a partner but I am not always happy with the attention or quality time that I am getting and still contemplate about letting the relationship go. Thanks again. My depression and social anxiety is normal now. As you do this, adopt what Dr. Daniel Siegel calls a C-O-A-L (curious, open, accepting and loving) attitude toward yourself. I always feel sad about myself. Fight your inner voices! I could identify with some of the things in this article. Thank you for writing this. I really hope that this gives you some ideas Me too, I see myself in some of y’all. My of these concepts of live and connecting with people that we learn are illusions that turn into delusions over all it is about balance. I got on this site Bc my granddaughter is going through a hard time at school at the age of 15 . You’re being left out.”. Thank you and God Bless. I’d not worry too much about my own family especially if do not find anything in you for their disdain or indifference. Or at least on people who can’t be more considerate with their words or actions. I bought kinect for me and my gf for her weight issue etc and she still whinges about weight but if it’s my problem I’m apparently putting it on to her. He doesn’t like you. If I don’t put forth exceeding amounts of effort I won’t have any social interactions at all. Always solitary, always alone , I can’t stand it anymore , glad I found this site , I was in sheer desperation last night . And since I’m a homosexual I know that even God doesn’t like me either. Romantic relationships don’t seem to work out and I’ve been single for years. It’s hard being lonely and trying to make friends as an adult – it’s like a job. I’ve reached out repeatedly and tried to spend time with them over a prolonged period of time, but…nothing. No one I know here understands this I don’t even understand it but every time I am alone with someone I get anxious and feel like anything I say will be wrong and awkward. don’t mean I have to be friends with them or ever let them hurt me again .. but forgiven helps me to go to something better! Absolute, demonstrable bull%$#$. God bless Jamil. I am the only one who pays any attention to me. However, I can’t tell you my relationships changed. I’m learning how I need to be loved. These steps comprise a method developed by psychologist and author of Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice Dr. Robert Firestone known as Voice Therapy. I almost would prefer to be invisible. We also tend to be influenced by how our parents felt toward themselves, if they felt awkward socially or had low self-esteem, we take on some of their self-critical perceptions as our own. We’re being too guarded; we’re oversharing; we’re asking too many questions; we’re not asking enough questions; we’re smiling too much; we’re not smiling enough… whatever. Best of luck to you. This article touched briefly on how I feel. It was too late because I was already reported. It didn’t work. Does this also cause me to judge others? They manipulate me by making me promise not to tell but it’s ok for them to break theirs or tell me if I do, it would be my fault for telling. All I have control of is how I react or treat others, If they don’t reciprocate all I can do is stay on the high path and know someday that if I keep trying it will get better it’s not great but, there’s hope. Thank I again!!! In my twenties and thirties, I discovered my sibling and parents had been on vacations without me. We try to get His love from people, and possessions and experiences but nothing measures up. Radzi seems to know how I feel and doesn’t dispute it. I’ve read lots of articles, but most feel kind of preachy. It confuses us with its ceaseless stream of self-shaming observations and self-limiting advice, leaving us anxious and stifled. As long as we are listening to this dangerous critic that twists our reality, we cannot really trust our own perceptions of what others think of us. Wow, I can relate so much. 6 Signs You Shouldn't Ignore, How to Handle Your Boyfriend's Lack of Effort, What to Do When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting or Calling You, How to Emotionally Detach From Someone You Love, Did His Feelings Change? Question: I’m 31 and have had the same problem my whole life – it never gets any easier. Love is the key to everything in the Universe — loving yourself, loving others, being loving and kind — all of it makes life so much easier. I just don’t know how to fix this. Especially the bit about people more/less rude, smart, boring, shy, selfish etc all seeming to have no difficulty in attracting friends. After hundreds of hours of crying and self-defamation my once courageous self voice emerged and I knew I was wrong to blame myself for another’s betrayal. Parents are their child’s, first love. It had gotten to where I don’t get bothered by it too much anymore bc I spend most of my time with my child. One of my biggest fears is being in a room full of people like me and still not being liked. I would like adult company sometimes. No one will like me anyway, why waste my time? I’m sure I am nicer than the average person, still sometimes very wrong, but I can count on my hands what went extremely wrong, concerning others, I’m neither pretty nor ugly in the average persons eye. Sorry for long comment. I’m tired of being hurt all the time whenever I try to interact with people. I’ve started to think of myself as some kind of living ghost, which at least puts a slight romantic edge on the loneliness. you need that support. Liking yourself means enjoying your own company, feeling content in solitude, and even being able to eat in restaurants and go to movies alone. Step away from your emotions; take hold of the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. Then I chose to be not so helpful, give money to never get paid back, just see who people really are and it’s hard to find good people. People don’t like me but I have stopped trying to figure out how, or try and find my value in pleasing them (yes i’m a people pleaser). I am very introverted now and don’t like to be around crowds of people. It is what it is right now. I am kidding myself thinking our marriage can be salvaged? If people reject you, maybe its a sign of their own insecurities, or maybe they’re farting and scared you will find their stench out. I was raised by a mother who told me how fat I was, lazy, stupid, and how no one in the family liked me. Once in a while i feel good for no reason, and i just accept it and savor those moments. I meanwhile make a marginally bigger effort for other people and when it’s not reciprocated I feel taken advantage of and angry. But I’m a white lesbian who looks like an attractive straight woman. Btw, I am a 37yr old adult, and I’ve always seemed to have this problem. A woman who’s never been there for me yes has always brought sadness to me & makes me wonder how a mom could be that way!?! Agreed that your ex left you because of some problems but she came close to you because of your qualities…Understand this. I’ve learned to be alone, and it’s still sometimes a little painful, because when I imagine I have friends, it feels great but it is a thing that I probably cannot have anymore, which bothers me but the idea that I will never have a helicopter bothers me too and I am able to live with it quite comfortably. I often have to make the mental note to smile because I do not do it naturally. I also have been considering that when I go into a situation hoping for the best and being friendly and really trying only to be left out and isolated once again…it is highly possible that I am projecting my feeling of dislike toward the new people. I meant, you cannot change their ways of talking, but you can change on how to accept their bad words, it’s hard. They call me lazy, selfish, etc. When you ask yourself who loves you, do you count yourself? I do want to throw in that if you are friendly and nice and positive and people still seem to avoid inviting you in, it may be the very fact that you feel you need so much for them to like you. Obviously I would and have done anything for them. Step Two: Think about where these critical attitudes come from. since our wedding my husband family and mine have not got on well an incident happened on wedding with was unintentional has caused soo much stress my in laws have no relationship with me or my husband and our arguments always boils down to this. as a hard worker people sometime tend to ignore what is outwardly (in appearance) attractive. Then all will be attracted to you! I loved reading this! I am certainly not perfect, but I perceive myself as a genuine, courteous, kind, generous person with a healthy sense of humor. Does anyone see a pattern? And I’m just SO LONLEY!! Remember that humans used to live in groups of 100 or less—Imagine how few people of our age group there used to be! I am sensitive with criticism, if someone said something bad,I thought to myself that I was just being sensitive but actually their words hurting me. As Amy Poehler put it “Sticking up for ourselves in the same way we would one of our friends is a hard but satisfying thing to do. That’s your power. There are people who care about you. Kids would play with me but only if no one else was around. ?? How about you? Just my thoughts. I was not even notified that the gifts that I sent had arrived. I think I need an personal psychiatrist that no one knows in my life. Many people even start to imagine the voice as coming from a figure in their lives, a parent who always worried they’d never make friends, for example. If you want the best friend you will ever have, go to the animal shelters and adopt one. Give me some advices . Thank you for this comment. Quite a change in the women today unfortunately, from the old days when most women were never like today at all. If they don’t care to tell them anyway. I try very hard to please everybody all the time. However thinking about it I am realizing that is where my inner critic is coming from. Your email address will not be published. What am I doing that makes me so irrelevant to others and how can I change it? I have constant hate from my family. They embrace my flaws. No friend or family calls me. At first I felt the same way I always felt: why am I even trying? My brother passed away in his sleep due to natural causes, and no one found him until two days later! I call them. I felt as an outcast all my life since I turned six years old. Someone who will listen to you without judgement. i have changed my looks, my attitude, my personality , i have become smart and funny and social but still at the end of the day i am lonely.One thing i understood no one can change their destiny. Yes this exactly, you put yourself out there and are terrific, just to realize that you still don’t meet par, they’re just being polite and really want nothing to do with you, and you can feel it, you can tell they aren’t really interested, shifting uncomfortably waiting for the moment they can get away. We argue all the time its physically draining. She says I always badger her about my problems etc but yet she does it to me with her weight issues but I always listen and when she tells me to tell her how I’m feeling it’s like all I get back is all I care about is self. Having my brother join in did irreversible damage and this is where my self-hatred stems from. Then when I shared knowledge, advice the exact oposite I’m 55 jack of all and feel hated! The peace of Jesus Christ, the warm embrace of the Holy Spirit, and the love of God the Father is overwhelming when I sit in silence. Since I started school, I’ve walked around the playground by myself. Find the contact information for old friends. Remember this when when you feel unloved and unwanted: “The more time I spend in God’s presence – not praying necessarily, just being – the more love I feel. I welcome challenges. Don’t waste your light on people who love darkness. The only thing I ever wanted was to be left alone. I moved away & focused on my child and my relationship, but still a commutable distance (1.5 hour journey) but still no visits…To maintain contact I always visited every Friday bc that’s what my 2 siblings did with their children. I know people can change , but I have not been able to change anything about myself all these years. I have suffered greatly (mostly mental) from B1 deficiency…and know I have a long time recovery after 54 years of more and more suffering from insecurity and anxiety and fear and depression and anger, etc. My husband used to say I should kill myself. I’ve tried that a few times. I’m a black guy that grew up listening to grunge and punk rock and live more of an eclectic lifestyle. Stop trying. The family. When in public, it’s like I’m invisible, or people can tell there’s something wrong with me. Everything seemed fine and then suddenly, no interest in having a relationship. It’s not like having an engaging personality and everyone wanting to be my friend but it’s a lifestyle I can live with. Yes that’s true I have also many problems? I’m so sorry for you. i’m a people pleaser. It has been a journey and I am thankful for it because it cultivated some great character traits. Women in the old days were very different and weren’t as picky like most of them are now, and the great majority of these women today are very high maintenance, independent, greedy, selfish, spoiled, picky like i mentioned already, gold diggers, and will usually go with much older men for money. People I go out with. You are not the opinions of others. I’m 50 now, not in a relationship, Ive been told on numerous occasions how attractive & stylish I am…conversant but struggle to get Men to ultimately give what I need, dispite giving them what they want & need from me, so I always leave them… giving them years, being hopeful. Sometimes no one likes someone. We encourage you to get support, whether through a group, a counselor or therapist. Sounds like you put a lot of your worth into the opinions of your parents, comparing yourself to your brother, and mixed with a lot of real or delusion when it comes to the opinions of others. 10 Easy Conversation Starters, 6 Things to Do When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Time for You, Is Your Marriage Over? I finished my BS in biology and got into pharmacy school and got my doctorate degree there. You may look so confident that people are afraid to approach you. I wanted to become a physician to prove to the world and my family that I worth something but my family said it would be very difficult for me since I don’t speak the language. It’s as though a mass narcissism and even sociopathic traits are becoming the norm in our society and for lonely discarded people there’s no where turn to for help or understanding. People don’t mind if I am around, they seem to actually enjoy my presence so I’m not like a hated villain or anything. I find myself interesting, am traveled and educated, not harsh to the eye and am witty and have to laugh alone. I also feel utterly alone and unlikable. How do you get over this voice when you have generalized anxiety disorder because I have tried but it leads to anxiety attacks. This will only lead you to feel more shame or loneliness. No one talks to me or approaches me even though I think I’m very cute Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Why I can’t feel the love from my friends or family. I truly do not understand. Think of going to town where no one knows me at the end when I graduate. A Way Out of Loneliness: How to Feel Less Isolated and AloneLength: 90 MinutesPrice: FreeOn-Demand WebinarsWatch Now:  Learn about the psychological roots of loneliness Overcome the critical inner voice that perpetuates feelings of isolation Challenge the psychological defenses that limit…Learn More That my friends does not make us any less worthy then they are. Please go do research, find out about the cycle of abuse and abuse techniques of the narcissist. Many so-called psychologically healthy individuals are initiating or instigating the hatred towards people who are not as popular as they are. sick of worrying and looking like a pratt for trying to get people to like me. Growth is like that — you may not know where you’ll precisely end up, but you should always be passionate about growth and know where you want to head. Im a friendly person who’s not exactly an extrovert, but im not afraid to start a conversation with someone i just met. But not only does my family understand that I have (many) flaws, they help me learn to love them. Thank you for pouring them out here. There’s been few moments where people tell me bluntly that I’m a terrible person. Yet, one thing’s for sure. All my life i felt unwanted useless ugly and worthless and after being married all those feelings have crept back. But I then I developed that guilt & regret & stupid& sorrow toward myself & how I am made to feel. I try to meet new people but I can’t get past the aquantaince stage. Even if initially you wind up feeling embarrassed or not quite yourself when you act against your voice, you should remember to practice self-compassion. It’s so empty when we don’t matter to anyone, and I often wonder why my life since a kid has been a lonely one . I want a girlfriend. Sometimes I’m like “is this even real? I didn’t think anyone felt like I did. I also perceive that most of the time when I attempt to interact with a group of people that I am always the one no one cares to listen too. That’s what you owe most. I don’t demand things of others so maybe that’s it. I have lived by myself twice and which people and in all my cases this feeling of loneliness never died. And what is going on here? I just try and be the best me – despite my depression voice telling me I’m nothing and spend most of my energy on me, trying to live through each day. I feel so lonely. So, while we may feel alone in thinking “nobody likes me,” we actually have that in common with a staggering number of people in the world. When you believe nobody truly loves you, you feel alone, unloved and unwanted. I’m in my early 30s and I suffer from extreme social anxiety and I have no friends. I telephoned this person. It has been very helpful. Unemployed . These are known as Toxic people! 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Not obnoxious for going out or having drinks and dancing re all in this process you!

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